All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…

…could maybe put Jenny together again?

I want to thank everyone who’s been so incredibly supportive, although only a couple of you actually know what happened. I know people just know i’ve been incredibly sad. I’ve been avoiding blogging since my last entry. I guess it was because I knew that once I typed these words, it’d make them true because I’d be acknowledging them to the world: I broke up with my boyfriend the day before Thanksgiving.

Not an earth shattering revelation, but I needed to share that, nonetheless.  It was a long time coming, but, of course, out of respect for him and our relationship, I will not divulge the details.

No matter how it ends (or who ends it) I suppose it comes as a shock when  you are finally able to process it.  It really only sunk in the week after Thanksgiving that it was really and truly over. I was numb with shock that I had finally found the guts to do it  and I found myself living on popcorn and Mike and Ikes. One day I just had a baked potato and was startled when I went to bed to find that I had truly forgotten to eat. I wasn’t listening to my body because my mind and heart were so otherwise engaged. Bad food blogger! I realized soon, though, that not taking care of myself wasn’t doing me any favors.

I started to cook a bit again and realized that doing what I love was going to help me get through it. Then I started baking. I baked my ass off. I attempted to go vegan(disaster), I wrote up recipes to try, and dreamed up new and odd ingredient combinations. I discovered the most amazing brownies- butterscotch and peanut butter(heaven). Sometime between slowly melting butter and folding in egg, the flood gates opened and I lost it. Apparently, the secret to good brownies is tears. Right in the batter.  Must help them rise or something, because those puppies rose to new heights. I’ll post that recipe and a few others soon.

I still cry, but not as often. I’ve finally stopped listening to sad, sappy music. So, my next step? Yoga. Gym. Jewelry design. Writing. Blogging. Things I enjoy. It’s really time I started taking care of me again while I let my heart heal. It’s time I started learning how to love myself instead of depending on others to do it for me. So, I’ll pick up the pieces and try to put MYSELF back together, because at the end of the day all I really have is me.


About annenglish

I often think my the right side of my brain dominates- I live to create things. Color is one of the things that brings me great joy and in everything that I do, it is a theme that takes on great aesthetic importance. I am a jewelry designer, metal artist and writer (wanna-be.) During the day I work in an office, and while I like it, I spend my days dreaming about the next thing I want to make. As a result, I am the post-it queen- design ideas are always strewn about my desk, waiting for me to gather them up and take them home at the end of the day. Oh, yeah. I'm also a tremendous slob, which is unfortunate because I love to cook and washing dirty dishes is my least favorite chore to tackle. I'm a healthy food enthusiast and amateur chef. Cooking is a tremendous creative outlet for me- experimentation is my hallmark...whether it's surprising color combinations or flavor combinations.
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8 Responses to All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…

  1. I’m so sorry. 😦 I really have missed you blogging and on Twitter. I hope you’ll stick around-we are here for you!!!

  2. I’m sorry you are so sad, hang in there. And yes, take care of yourself. Self care is the most important care.

  3. You know I love you and am always here whenever you need anything!

  4. Kat says:

    I’m so proud of your positive outlook. Yes, you needed time to mourn and heal, and you can take all the damn time you need. But you’re right about needing to be good to yourself. This sounds totally cynical and I don’t mean it to, but you’re the only thing you can be sure of in this world, so putting yourself first is the best thing you can do. Stay strong! We’re all here for you! 😀

  5. jesstyler says:

    hang in there hon! i know how you feel – I’m going through the same thing with my husband. The best advice I can give is to listen to yourself, take care of YOU cause you’re the only one you have to live with. Everything works out in the end, and until then, we’re all here for you. ((hugs))

  6. This was a really amazing post and shows just how strong of a person you are. You’ll get through this girl! 🙂

  7. debby says:

    I’m really so sorry you are having to go through this, and especially at the holiday time. Take care of yourself–sounds like you already have a plan to do just that.

  8. traveleatlove says:

    Thinking of you big time, that is rough! Taking care of yourself is the BEST thing you can do. Its a good time to spend a lot of extra YOU time, you deserve it. If you ever feel like drinks out in Boston let me know!

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