How can your day NOT get off to a pretty sweet start when you eat this for breakfast?
Half a waffle (2 1/4 pieces, that is) topped with fresh raspberries, strawberries, banana and the granddaddy of toppings: REAL FRESH WHIPPED CREAM (I just had to shout it)
So, apparently, it’s official. My grandmother is cooler than I am now- she called while I was over at my aunt’s house tonight and she was skyping. I mean, you’d think you’d at least be hipper than your grandmother. But then again, my grandma is no ordinary grandma. She watches Sex and the City and sometimes spells dirty words in Scrabble. Oh, and she taught me how to cook from the time I was just a little kid! She’s also my favorite person on the planet. Maybe I should get on the skyping bandwagon?
I had a great time tonight. My cousin, Sarah, is 13 and pretty much destined to be the next Martha, so I knew dinner would be pretty awesome. All day i’d been wanting something with chives and this:
Oh, goat cheese, you make my heart sing!
I guess I must have been sending out some sort of telepathic signal because without any input from me, Sarah selected the following for our dinner.
Fingerling potatoes tossed with olive oil, salt, pepper and fresh chives!
Crispy pan fried polenta topped with goat cheese
Note the mushrooms sauteed with white wine for topping the polenta and the avocado slices!
And one more…altogether now:
It was all fingerfood and although really simple, absolutely delicious. There are so many potential ways to go with this: adding spinach to the mushrooms will probably be the next thing that I try. I have a serious goat cheese problem. I kept eating from the log as we were spreading it on the crispy polenta slices. It’s dangerous stuff, indeed. Probably wouldn’t last long at Colorhungry Casa!
And for dessert and a movie…Sarah’s idea of popcorn:
Yes, I am wearing Lululemon. These blueberries were amazing. They were the perfect balance of sweet and tangy.
We all paired our blueberries with a nice relaxing cup of this:
And showing on the gigantic TV? An oldie, but a goodie (sorry for the blurry screenshot- I tried.):
Miss Congeniality- love that movie!
It was the perfect girls night and definitely one that I needed after a long and tiring week at work. I’m really looking forward to the weekend.
This post will be short and sweet. I have only one thing of any real substance to say. And yes, this might seem harsh, but it needs to be said. A huge pet peeve of mine and something i’ve noticed in abundance lately: An article on the MSN homepage and one that i’ve seen in many incarnations…”Is your boyfriend/where you live/workplace/cat making you fat?” NO. With a few exceptions (medical, for one) YOU are making you fat. No one is putting the food in your mouth. No one is physically restraining you from exercising or being active in some way. This is one of the issues. It is only when we take ownership that we can begin to fix the problem. THAT’S what people successful in weight loss do. Take responsibility for what they eat and how much they move. I say this because I’ve been there. It’s tough to do, but it’s necessary. We are responsible for the choices we make. We are the ones that live with the consequences.
First, to the person who found my blog by searching “Robert Downey Jr. Sexy” – you have excellent taste, but i’m wondering, what, exactly, you thought that searching for that specific phrase would turn up. Let me know.
I’m going to start off by making two shocking confessions. Are you ready? #1) I did not eat breakfast this morning (shocking, I know), and #2) I HATE raw spinach. That’s right. Eating raw spinach absolutely disgusts me. I love it cooked. Nothing warms the cockles of my heart like spinach sautéed with garlic and mushrooms- delicious! But raw spinach salad? Blech! The texture is just- ack! And yes, these little words are necessary to describe my feelings towards the stuff.
I can’t quite explain it. Popeye (and probably several bloggers I can think of) would be horrified by this admission, I know. But hold that thought- guess what I had for lunch today?
Contained in my salad: spinach, red peppers, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, feta, ~2tsp sunflower seeds, broccoli, ~1 tbsp hummus, dried cranberries, carrots, ¼ cup of cooked barley and it was all topped off with a nice drizzle of rosemary and garlic infused olive oil and lots of salt. And don’t shake your head at the salt- it’s doctor ordered! I can’t even tell you how tasty this was…and the best part was that I actually enjoyed the spinach! I also felt fuller than I usually do after eating a salad, which was a nice surprise. My favorite thing to add to a salad is dried cranberries. I absolutely love the tangy sweetness- it’s an awesome contrast to the other savory flavors.
I’ve been making a concentrated effort to try to choose things high in nutrients and certainly iron and protein. I was severely anemic as a child (and Brittany Murphy died of that, coupled with other things, which only alarms me more), and I have a tendency to verge on anemia, so I have to be really careful. Now that I’m not eating meat, I find that I am so much more aware of the nutritional value of what I am putting into my body. I’m still trying to learn the ropes of what a balanced vegetarian diet looks like, so any input would be much appreciated.
Dinner was a quaint affair. Ok, not really. I just like the way that sounds. A more appropriate term would be “Lazy woman’s dinner.”
I kept it pretty simple- oatmeal, Trader Joe’s new peanut butter with roasted flax seeds, a dash of agave, half of a crumbled whole wheat blueberry muffin, dates, and plenty of cinnamon. Looks pretty tasty, yes? On the side, I had an overeasy egg with a little onion powder, garlic powder and salt on top. You’ll notice that there’s no picture. Well, that’s because while I can flambee, chiffonade, make a perfect omelet, and all that jazz- I simply cannot flip an overeasy egg without making a mess. Trust me- it’s not pretty! I just love breakfast foods for dinner. I guess it just feels cozy. It helps that it’s easy as pie. Sadly,though, there was no pie to be had.
I want to talk a little bit about habits. Caitlin wrote an excellent post not too long ago about how to form habits. I’ve been thinking about habits a lot lately. Habits are things ingrained very deeply in your psyche. They keep you coming back for more and propel you to repeat the same things that you have always done. Well, you know the saying, right? If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. If I can make some simple little changes, I think it will help me to make some bigger changes. I am determined to make 2010 the year of personal growth. There are certain habits I’d like to commit to ending right here and right now so that I can institute some new, healthier habits:
- · Eating skittles weekly. I eat them once or twice a week, and they always leave me wanting more. I don’t want to put all of those chemicals into my body. NO MORE SKITTLES.
- · Saying, “I’m too tired to exercise, I’ll do it tomorrow.” If I catch myself saying this on a scheduled workout day, I need to make a conscious effort to do something, even if it means popping in a workout video. Or dancing like a maniac by myself in my apartment. Note to self: close the curtains.
- · Leaving my contact lenses in for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Don’t try to tell me I’m the only one who’s guilty of this one, though. If you do this, too, I’d encourage you to try to do the same. Your eyes need to breathe, apparently. Who’d have thought it?
- · And here’s the usual song and dance- skipping breakfast. This is a common theme on my blog, so I’m expecting a few eye rolls at this one. A girl has to try, right?
These are just a few of the habits I would like to curb. Others are going to take a little more time and distance from the whole break-up situation. It’s still a rollercoaster and I’m still waiting for the dam to burst on that one, but every day week day I put a little bit of my heart back together and become a little more sure that somehow, I’ll be ok.
Tell me: What are your favorite salad ingredients? And are there any habits that you’ve had to break or want to break? And if you’re a vegetarian or vegan- any tips for me??
First of all, I want to start out this post by saying that I have NEVER been what one would call “a natural runner”- by by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, my most profound running memory involves a stint on the cross country team in seventh grade (And since we’re being honest here, I’ll confess that I only joined because #1 A hot guy in the 8th grade was on it-my gaydar, it turns out, was off in that case- and #2 I figured it’d be a good way to make myself as thin as all the other girls) in which I fell, injured myself and came in DEAD.LAST. Out of 80 people. Did you know they make an 80th place ribbon? Well, now you do.
Until I was 22, the closest I ever wanted to get to running any kind of distance was making a dash for these amazing shoes marked 75% off at the Barney’s Annual sale (and to that lady I elbowed for the last pair of size 39’s- i’m REALLY sorry. But they were 75% off!!! Look at it this way- it could’ve been worse. I elbowed for Manolos, but for 75% off, I might’ve maimed). But then I started to get serious about losing weight and being healthy and at the urging of my uncle, I took up running- usually in the dark of night (sorry, Aunt Pam!)so as not to be seen, pointed at and laughed at while huffing and puffing like a maniac . Plus, my hair just does not hold up well with all that activity and after an *ahem* unfortunate incident, I don’t want to put anything potentially flammable like hairspray to keep the frizz from taking over in it. You just never know, ok?
At first, I was painfully slow, painfully awkward and I HATED IT! REVILED IT! The burning in my throat, the aching in my legs, the pain in my chest unless I donned multiple sports bras that could win engineering industry awards… it was the worst kind of torture I could imagine.
But something happened after those first few weeks. Slowly, I realized that after the first 15 minutes would pass, I’d start to find my stride. And with every step I took I worked harder, felt stronger, more capable. Somehow, it was cathartic. I ran when I was angry. I ran when I was happy. I ran when I was sad. I knew that I couldn’t run FROM anything, but I could run to find some sort of peace- to let my mind wander and scream or cry or rejoice. It was a space to feel whatever it was that I needed to feel- to put it all out there on the pavement with each step. It was the greatest release that I had. It made me HAPPY. It kept me mentally and physically healthy. And then I got sick.
I won’t go into why I can’t run anymore (and to all you runners screaming at the thought of this- yes, it does suck as badly as you think. You guys can imagine.) other than to say I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, which you can read about in this post. Maybe someday I will realize my dream of running a marathon, but right now I can’t do the one thing that my mind so desperately craves to get through a really crappy time.
But getting pissed off really does me no good. So, what does a resourceful gal do? She finds another way. Yoga? Check! Dancing like a maniac in her apartment? Check! Walking? Check! Elliptical? Sometimes a check! Skiing? Check! Golfing? Check! Core Fusion Body Sculpt? CHECK!
The secret to getting through this without running is obvious- find other things that I CAN do that remind me of how strong my body still is in other ways, how far i’ve come from being so frail I couldn’t get of bed, and that sense of accomplishment that comes from pushing your body to do things that will make it stronger, faster, better. The one and only Dori was the first person to clue me on Core Fusion. She just finished doing a Core Fusion challenge with amazing results and she told me about the Core Fusion Bodysculpt DVD, which happened to be on sale. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am a total sucker for anything on sale. I hoard stuff when it’s on sale, so obviously, it was ripe for the buying!
I should say that I have been thoroughly traumatized by workout DVD’s. Richard Simmons made me fear my natural curls, Billy Blanks forever made me associate kickboxing with shiny scary spandex, and several other perky women have left my ears ringing, which, trust me, is hard to do to a deaf girl. I needed a DVD with instructors that haven’t been on a steroid regimen, a Redbull diet, a bi-annual perming schedule, or taken voice cues from Gilbert Gottfried. Fred DeVito and his wife Elizabeth Halfpapp(the inventors of Core Fusion!) certainly meet these requirements. They are completely low-key and don’t make me want to throw my hand weights at my TV. This was a very good sign from the start. Non-annoying instructors? Check!
Then, of course, there’s the exercises themselves. The DVD is split up into 4 sections- Arms, Thighs, Glutes and Abs. It was surprising when I first did it because the exercises themselves are very simple. If you were to watch the DVD without doing them, you might think that they aren’t difficult or all that effective, but you would be very wrong. It’s the simplicity that makes this so perfect- you are doing concentrated movements that all flow together seamlessly for maximum effectiveness. Fred and Elizabeth show different modifications, so you can pick which person to follow based on your strength, flexibility, or skill level.
I have to say that while the thigh exercises left my legs shaking and the glute section was so intense that it made the left side of my a$$ cramp so badly I fell to my knees, it was the abs that were the biggest surprise for me. I’ve done all sorts of ab work over the years (somewhere in my body there’s a set of killer abs, I swear!) and so I thought I knew what worked and what didn’t. I thought i’d seen and done it all. I was wrong(just typing that seemed wrong). The abs section of Core Fusion was so painfully effective that I would watch this video after a workout at the gym just for that.
The other thing that I really enjoyed about this tape was that I don’t always have time to devote to the entire thing and so it’s nice to be able to pick and choose what I want to work on. The sessions are short, but effective. There are tons of workout DVD’s that carry that tagline, but few deliver. Core Fusion Bodysculpt certainly does. And no, they didn’t pay me to say that. I’m saying it because it’s true, darnit!
Running is on hold for now. It’s frustrating and I haven’t totally made my peace with that yet. I still feel the yearning to lace up, throw on my running skirt and do my best impression of Usain Bolt (it’s a bad impression for several reasons). The desire and need has not dissipated. That old saying applies here- the mind is willing…and that’s what is so hard.
Yoga is the closest I have come to feeling that cathartic mind release, but my body needs more. So I’ll keep looking for alternatives. I ‘ll take every little bit of progress that I can get.
Speaking of progress and looking on the bright side, I want to end on a positive note:
* It’s hell week at work- the Board of Trustees is coming and i’m working like a dog. I got no sleep last night. I go down to get a latte from the coffee place and before I even open my mouth, the barista looks at me and says, “Double shot?” Burn. However, I DID get a “cute outfit!” I chose to focus on that comment and my day got just a little brighter.
* I finally decided to take the first step working up to drinking a green smoothie- a Bare Naked Smoothie. It’s got all sorts of yummy, natural ingredients- no artificial flavors, chemicals or preservatives. I know it’s pasteurized, so it’s not the same thing, but I just needed to get over my aversion to drinking my greens. Aversion conquered. I’ll try a green smoothie soon.
Yes, I used my Lulu bag as a backdrop 
* My class tonight was captioned by a woman sitting next to me, who typed every single word spoken during the class. It was the very first time EVER that I have sat through a class and missed nothing. It was the first time I ever felt free to participate without feeling nervous anxiety that I would say something already said or contradicted by something I missed. It was glorious.
*I have 2 breakfast recipes burning a hole in my head- 10 minute Oatmeal Bar Bites and Whole Wheat and Oat Blueberry and Cinnamon muffins. They are delicious and i’ll be posting those soon!
*I’m about to finally go to bed after a long day and I’m happier than I was when I woke up this morning. I think that’s a pretty darn good thing.
How do you deal with setbacks? Have you ever had an injury or other issue that has prevented you from doing something you loved? How did you cope?
Yesterday was a day filled with good eats and an awesome cause. I’ve been a little down lately (part of that breakup roller coaster I’m sure you all know about) and had a stressful week at work (actually, stressful last 2-3 weeks and this week won’t be any better), so I knew I needed a busy weekend with lots of good stuff that would simultaneously make me happy and make me forget how sad I am. Of course, when the opportunity to volunteer for the Greater Boston Food Bank came up, I knew that not only would it be a fun event, it would be a chance to do good for other people, something that always makes me feel good. I have a pretty long history of volunteering and those experiences were some of the most rewarding of my life, so this was a no-brainer. I started off my day with these Oat and whole wheat flour cinnamon blueberry muffins, which I whipped up the other day on a whim. I topped them with almond butter and a dash of raw agave.
This month is Super Hunger Month and the Food Bank held the first day of their Super Hunger Brunch yesterday. It’s an exciting time for the Boston Food Bank- they recently moved into a brand new facility and have distributed more food in the 4 months since they’ve been there than they did in the 8 months of 2009 when they were in their old facility, which is an AMAZING feat, especially as they are in greater demand with the economy the way it is.
The Super Hunger Brunch was an event held in select Boston restaurants (And some in Brookline!)and each restaurant served a brunch that was either 25, 35 or 50 dollars. This clearly depended on how fancy the restaurant was- mine, Sel de La Terre- was 35. The brunch was a prix fixe menu and each patron would come to my volunteer partner and I (Hi, Grace!) to pay. The restaurants provided the staff and the food, but all proceeds went to the Food Bank. One of the things I found out was that just one brunch for 35 dollars could provide 140 dollars worth of food- isn’t that incredible?
At the end of the event, we tallied it up and we’d raised 1,330 dollars, or enough to provide over 5 thousand dollars worth of food! It was such a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I will definitely do it again next year- I just wouldn’t wear sky high heels next time.
Of course, one of the other cool parts was that we got to sit right next to the kitchen and watch the food being prepared and see it all come out. Please pardon the terrible photos- the lighting was terrible!
Actually, let me rephrase that: Sitting next to the kitchen was both a blessing and a curse. We didn’t get to eat until about 2:30, so watching (and smelling) food being churned out of that kitchen was quite torturous, although I got a ton of ideas for new recipes and combinations to try, that’s for sure! It was definitely very interesting to see how they worked and to see some of the great presentation. I tried to take some pictures and of course, had to explain to Grace that I am a food blogger, lest she think i was completely crazy. Sadly, because it was so dark, none of my pictures of the kitchen really came out 
Believe me when I say that it was ridiculously close, though!
Let me just assure you that it was completely worth the wait. I had never eaten at Sel de La Terre, although I have enjoyed a delicious meal at L’espalier- the restaurant with which they are adjoined. I’m always looking for tasty new restaurants, so I was pretty excited to try the brunch. Grace and I had been looking at the menu all morning as we handed them out to patrons, so it’s safe to say that the anticipation and our expectations had been building.
We started out with a bread basket, which, to be honest, I ate a lot of- I have a problem when it comes to bread. However, I really should have refrained because as far as moderately priced restaurants go, this bread basket it SORELY lacking. I’m glad, however, that I didn’t let this bias my opinion of the rest of the meal.
I started with the celery root soup, which was truffled and then topped with a dash of honey. Alongside this, on a miniature wooden cutting board, was a very crispy little potato croquette.
*sigh*I gave up and put on my flash. I also tried to hide the fact that I took a bite out of the croquette before I remembered to take a picture!
The soup was delicious. It was creamy, with a perfect texture, and the flavors were spot on. The little croquette beside it was just the perfect little bite of heaven. My only complaint was how oily it was, but honestly, it was so good I overlooked the little bit of oil that it left behind on the board. So good. The potato mixture…well, I have to try to recreate it.
My next course was very very simple, but the flavors were terrific. I have a general idea of what was in this, but I wish I knew for sure, because this dish would be something i’d love to create for myself. The little skillet held potato hash (it was vegetarian- no bacon grease- I asked), which was topped with an extremely soft boiled egg, a little paprika and then a homemade english muffin on the side.
While I enjoyed this dish very much, there were a couple of things that made it less than perfect. All afternoon we’d been watching this course come out and ours were missing the microgreens on top, which would’ve been great to put on top of the English muffin before layering the other ingredients on top. I will say that the egg was VERY VERY undercooked. I know they wanted the runny yolk to mix with the other ingredients, but the egg white was just extremely runny. I like runny eggs, but I was a bit nervous that the white was so raw. The yolk mixed beautifully with everything, but the whites, not so much. Occasionally, i’d find little bits of white just sitting in the dish like blobs of gel. That kept the dish from really being five- star for me. The flavor was perfect, so if that egg had been cooked even a tiny little bit more, it would have been perfect.
We did, however, end on the PERFECT note. The major dessert that people were ordering was a rich chocolate one, but of course, I had to order the non-chocolate dessert- an assortment of sorbets, ice cream and cookies. On the suggestion of our server (Who was terrific, btw! The wait staff at Sel De La Terre seem to be the cream of the crop!) I selected the guava sorbet and the graham cracker ice cream.
The cookie, however, was a surprise. My heart sank when I saw that it was a coconut macaroon (typically, I HATE coconut, unless it’s in a pina colada), and I dug into graham cracker ice cream first. HOLY MOLY. The server was a genius. I had a bite of guava and graham cracker together and it was the perfect marriage. Timidly, I picked up the macaroon. It seemed unfair not to just give it a shot with a tiny nibble.
As you can see, that tiny nibble turned into quite the bite. This macaroon was just something else. Everything from the taste to the texture was absolutely perfect. If you, reader, could understand the sheer hatred and disgust I feel for coconut, you’d know how good this macaroon must be. It was the perfect ending to a really rewarding day. If you live in Boston, I would definitely recommend this restaurant. Besides, they supported a truly awesome cause, so definitely show them a little support!
After much discussion, Christie and I have decided to continue with our yoga challenge. I’m going to go ahead and blog about what I read this morning because it’s entirely relevant to my situation right now. Yesterday’s was also a good read, though I should mention that it actually made me want to dance, so I did. In my apartment. Like a crazy person.
WARNING: This part is a little emotional and personal, so if you don’t want to read it, skip over it!
I digress. This morning’s reading discussed something called “Vairagya,” which, essentially, means letting go of things that hinder you or hold you back. This concept of “letting go” is hitting me in a very sore spot right now. Like I mentioned before, this has been a really tough week for me. I thought I was doing really well with the whole “moving on” thing and in a flash, with one unfortunate shuffle of the itunes, it hit me hard. I hate feeling this way. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to be hurting. I don’t want to feel pain. There has been only one other person in my life that has caused such emotional devastation and I had hoped to never feel it again. I guess I was naive.
Sometimes I am in so much pain I’m not sure what to do, so I turn to yoga. I get on my mat and focus on what I’m doing with my body because concentrating on that makes me forget and brings me peace for a while. I’m not stupid- I know that this is only temporary. I know yoga is supposed to give me the tools to deal with this, but right now, I’m not letting that happen. Most of the time I feel like screaming. Just screaming and screaming and screaming.
And the worst part? Knowing that the person who has caused this doesn’t care. It’s like an extra little punch in the stomach. It’s too much to bear sometimes. And I can feel the rage bubble up. I can feel it simmering beneath the surface, but something is keeping it from coming out. Something is holding it back. I wonder if i let that rage go- outrage and disbelief and sheer anger that I could love someone so wholly and completely and give so much of myself (so much that I started to lose sight of myself) and it was all for NOTHING. In the end, I was nothing. I wasn’t good enough. I meant jacksh*t. Words cannot adequately express how badly that hurts. That after all this time together, this is what it has come to. So, how, I ask Mr. Rolf Gates, the author of this book, the hell am I supposed to let it go?
I don’t want to feel like some days i’m just moving just to move. I don’t want to have to “fake it until I make it.” So when I read about Vairagya, all I could wonder is “HOW?” Right now, I can’t seem to answer that question. Maybe time? I really don’t know. And if I can’t let go of how I feel, where does that leave me? It’s a really scary thought.
For a really thought-provoking and insightful post on Day 8, as well as an explanation about the recent “hitch” in our challenge, please read Christie’s post.
Let me tell you a little story from my recent ski weekend just because I’m totally ok with making an ass of myself and maybe you could use a little laugh. I was skiing with my much younger cousins and we were cutting through the woods. A branch hit me in the face(I’m really tall- 5’9- they are not), I was disoriented, hit a tree, and got stuck. My six- year old cousin skied ahead of me (she’s been skiing since she could walk, and is probably better than most adults already) to catch up with the 8- year old and the 13- year old (also incredible skiers). Before I tell you the next part, let me just say I had on a hat and helmet over my ears, I’m realllllly hard of hearing and she skied over a little hill at the base of the mountain, supposedly out of range and I HEARD HER CLEAR AS A BELL yell at the top of her lungs, “SARAH! MIA! WAIT!!!! JENNY’S STUCK IN A TREE!!!!” Yeah. I will also say that she was within earshot of the chairlift, too. *THUD* Can you say humiliating?? I will NEVER live that down.
Anyway, on with our regularly scheduled programming. On Wednesdays, I often teach classes at a bead store in Brookline Village called Abeille. It’s an amazing store with a gorgeous space and my friend Lisa, the owner, is constantly adding new inventory, classes and coming up with all sorts of cool stuff- it’s not just beads- there’s sewing, card making, paper crafts, etc. The studio space is incredible. If anyone is in the Boston area- you should definitely check it out. Even if you aren’t crafty there’s really something for everyone. Consider this my official review.
Last night I taught a PMC class- silver clay. You shape it just like clay, then when it dries, it’s fired in a kiln and the moisture and binder burn out in the firing process, leaving real silver in its place. It’s very cool. The best part of last night’s class was surely that none of the students made me want to scream and throw clay in their hair. On the contrary, one of them turned out to be a food blogger and we ended up realizing that we shared similar opinions about food blogging(we really are everywhere!)!
I was going to the store after my day job and so I knew I’d need a little boost(especially because there’s always a chance I will end up with above mentioned bad apples), so I stopped off at Starbucks for a skinny latte and ended up picking up a Kind Bar- almond and cashew.
HOLY COW. I’m very very picky about bars. There are very few that I like- PURE Bar- I’m looking at you. I had never tried the Kind Bar before, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I was NOT expecting love at first bite. I took my first bite and a sense of nostalgia washed over me, but it it took me a second to place it. Then it hit me- It tasted like a rice krispie treat! I absolutely LOVED it. I would definitely eat this one again. According to the KIND bar website, Starbucks will be handing out free samples on the 5th, so if you happen to be near one and haven’t tried it- it’s worth a shot!
I headed out a bit after eight and knew I had no food in the fridge and that I needed to grab something quick so that I could get home in time to park it in front of the TV. I stopped off at my favorite Turkish place that I haven’t been to in FOREVER. I ended up with two delicious dishes- the shepherd salad and baba ghanoush, which made an appearance again this afternoon alongside some multigrain wasas for a lovely little snack.
It’s very filling and I was able to watch the State of the Union completely satisfied. I love listening to Obama speak- there’s something hypnotic about him. But Michelle Obama continually amazes me. What a woman!
Tuesday I started my first grad class and while it went well and I LOVED it (it’s SO REFRESHING to use my brain for critical thinking and analysis- yes I am a dork. You know this. Haven’t you seen my first video yet?) I did, however, realize that I missed a lot of dialogue because I couldn’t hear it. So, I called the appropriate resources yesterday and get this: I’m going to have my class captioned! It’s called CART transcription and basically, it means there will be a woman sitting next to me with a laptop and a stenographer’s keypad thing who will be typing EVERY SINGLE WORD that is said, which will appear on a laptop in front of me. I won’t miss a beat! It’s much less distracting than sign language interpreting and much more conducive to note taking. I’m really excited. I never had this as an undergrad and it’s sad that I think that if I had sought these resources, I probably would have gotten more out of my education. Oh, well. With age comes wisdom, yes?
Maybe you’ve noticed that I haven’t spoken about my yoga challenge yet. I’ve been putting it off. Christie brought something very disturbing to my attention this morning. It seems as if the man who wrote the book we are following (and who I understood to be a protege/partner of Baron Baptiste’s) is now embroiled in a nasty legal fight with Baron and things have gotten quite bad. This article claims many disturbing things, that, if true, COMPLETELY fly in the face of the principles and philosophy that I have been studying- the foundation of my yoga practice, if you will. I am understandably shaken. If Baron Baptiste isn’t practicing what he preaches, then is he a sham? I’m not really sure. I keep saying that it’s NOT Baron that has made the changes in my life- it’s me. Everything has come from ME. He has just been helping me find the will and power to do it. I read day five this morning. I’m not ready to comment on it yet. I plan to go home and read it again after work and see how I feel. It’s a lot to process.
I’d like to end this on a positive note and say that I ate breakfast this morning! It seems so simple and basic and, well, DUH! to many of you, i’m sure, but eating breakfast has always been a challenge for me. I opted to grab some granola, banana and skim milk. The granola was a little too sweet for my tastes, but it was a hearty breakfast and kept me satisfied until lunch. Let’s see if I can get a breakfast eating streak going! Yay!
Before I leave you in peace, one last thing- check out my new product review: Yogitoes Premium Yoga Towel!
So tell me, what’s your favorite kind of cuisine?
Nicely played, Mr. Safran Foer. Nicely played. Your proposal in “Eating Animals” that we start considering eating dogs certainly got my attention. You’ve got me. I’ll keep reading, if only out of horror and the thought that maybe what’s to come couldn’t be worse than that. I’m sure you’d laugh at what’s probably a false sense of security. Ok, ok. Yes, I appreciate that you’ve made me think. I will say no more until I have finished the book and can fully review it. If the first two chapters are any indication, I’m in for a helluva ride.
My first order of business today is to update you on my yoga challenge! This morning I overslept and while I didn’t have time to practice, I did read day four of the book. I was glad that I did because it was a terrific metaphor in which Gates talks about yoga as a canoe and states that we have to push ourselves from the shore (which I took to mean our comfort zones, what we’ve always done). He says that we have to relinquish control, learn to enjoy the scenery and essentially, just travel the river. You can see Christie’s take on Day four here, and what is so interesting is that while Christie felt that the passage was telling her to let go of old patterns and break old habits, I felt that the passage was actually showing me that the choices I’ve made lately, the path I’m traveling is the one that I need to be on- I AM breaking out of my old habits. I’m breaking old patterns- shattering them, actually, and it’s terrific.
My life is changing and moving in ways that I never imagined that it could. My boss actually said to me today-“ it’s good to be you. You have so many options.” She’s absolutely right and I am so very grateful for that. I can’t explain what it’s like to feel as though you are finally finding your way. After my world seemed to fall apart after the breakup, I wondered if I’d feel joy again. And here I am- still a little sad and mourning my loss, but at the same time- I’m happy again. I’m singing again. I’m dancing again. I’m laughing. I’m using my voice. I’m getting my old feistiness back. I feel like I’m coming home- to myself, if that makes sense. Now, if I could just freakin’ remember to eat breakfast!
I was able to get in a great yoga session before bed last night, using my new Yogitoes yoga towel again. I’ll be reviewing this soon- it’s a terrific product! I’m noticing so many improvements- I can touch my toes again, for one, and overall, I’m noticing serious improvements in flexibility. For instance, stepping my foot forward out of downward dog to transition into warrior, I can now step my foot all the way forward! It’s little things like that which are so rewarding. I’m also starting to pay attention to breathing, I’m really focusing on my body, I’m holding poses for longer and as Baron Baptiste would say, “playing with my edge.” It’s a wonderful and empowering feeling.
Switching gears a little bit, I wanted to say that I just became an aunt for the fourth time! CONGRATULATIONS Chris and Christine!!! Owen was born last week and my step-bro sent me a bunch of pics, which I quickly showed a few friends. Kat brought it to my attention that K.C. appears to be flipping off the camera in this particular picture, which makes it all the more hysterical.
These are my nephews. Aren’t they ridiculously adorable?! And yes, they are little devils. The one in the middle (Tyler) was recently zipped up in a rolling suitcase and put in a closet by the one holding the baby (Cody). Anyway, I’m sure you’ll see a ton more of these little guys. And thanks for letting me post these, Christine! Here are my favorite pictures of Tyler, taken at Christmas in my step-aunt’s basement/play area:
I’ve gotten a great response to my video from yesterday- both on here and on Twitter, along with requests for a second installment, which is pretty awesome. I’m glad you guys enjoyed it. I must say that it was pretty funny when people told me that I sounded differently than they thought I would. I guess I have a high pitched voice? Anyway, the next time I have a good hair day (I’m due for another one any day now. Maybe.), I’ll do a second installment(And hope that this time, YouTube doesn’t freeze the most UNFLATTERING second of the entire video as the preview). If you have anything in particular you’d like to know, let me know and I’ll include it. And people- keep it clean. As much as I’d like to show you all the stuff I used to show the kids in the back of the bus in elementary school, I’m going to keep it tame. For the most part.
Here are a couple of questions for you: If you practice yoga, what is your favorite pose? As I build my knowledge on a daily basis, I am trying to do one new pose per day, so let me know what your favorite pose is and I’ll add it to my repertoire. AND/OR Pretty please talk to me about breakfast? How do you fit it in? Any suggestions for quick ones? I have to get serious about eating breakfast.
First, a quick word to my fellow Boston morning commuters before I get down to business (And my very first video!): When people are trying to get off the T and you happen to be standing in the door, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. You can get back on when everyone that needs to get off is off. A door is an ENTRANCE and EXIT. And no, don’t try to flatten yourself against the side of the door- I’m looking at YOU, crazy lady with the backpack. Seriously, were you en route to hike the Himalayas? I seriously doubt it. I don’t think they wear argyle socks in the Himalayas.
So: to sum up: Get off the train to let people off. It’ll go a lot smoother and next time I won’t hit you with my bag. Thanks!
Anyway, please pardon the rant. I’m actually less frazzled than I usually am when I have a nasty commute and that’s probably thanks to the challenge I am doing with my lovely friend Christie, over at Honor my Health. Christie sent me this mini inspiration board, which sits in a shelf in my room where I can see it whenever I come home. Isn’t this awesome? I was so moved when I opened up the box to reveal this. I got this at a time when I really needed it and I absolutely love it!
Anyway, Christie wrote about doing a personal challenge in which she would read a 365 day devotional containing writings on a personal yoga practice. The idea was for her to commit to reading each day for 365 days and then to do whatever she felt lead to do- whether it be yoga, meditation, writing, etc. after each reading. In the post (“Un-Stuck”) she talked about how she had felt on the verge of great things, but stuck- and that she knew yoga was the key, but she needed guidance for a practice at home.
I’m new to yoga and I, too, am starting to find that yoga is essential to my well-being as I practice more and more. It’s helping my body with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia symptoms, as well, and THAT is priceless. I need guidance so that I can grow in my practice. One of the concepts that Baron Baptiste writes about in “Journey to Power” is the idea that “Everything we need is already in us” and that we just have to unlock it. Well, I want the key, damnit! So, I asked Christie if I could do the challenge with her and I ordered the book “Meditations from the Mat,” by Rolf Gates. The book was waiting for me when I returned from NH and I immediately tore into the package and read the introduction. I am SO EXCITED! Christie is much further along in her abilities and her knowledge, so I think that sometimes we will get different things out of the readings, but we can discuss and share ideas, which is so motivating and helps us both get more out of the challenge.
You can see Christie’s take at her blog, but Day 3 this morning was really interesting for me (although i’m just a beginner and I really dig the basics). I rolled out my yoga mat, and put my awesome new Yogitoes yoga towel down and sat to read.
Rolf spoke of the yoga mat as a “laboratory” and as soon as I finished the passage, I knew what I wanted to do. Downward dog is NOT my favorite pose. I rather be in child’s or dancer’s or wheel. I’m very awkward in downward dog and in all honesty it bothers me to feel like I am failure at something that other people seem to find so basic and easy. So, I figured, this is the time to “experiment in the lab” and I went up into downward dog.
You know what? It really wasn’t terrible. I actually held it for a bit and went back to it between asanas. I don’t know if I’ll ever really love it, or even like it, but I think it’s an important enough pose that I do need to work on it. I think it’s telling that I am finally willing to try. I also realized in the first few readings how much I have to learn- I need to fully grasp the eight limbs of yoga- these are the building blocks. So, I’ll be focusing on that in the coming days, as well as doing my daily reading.
I have some exciting news (um, and this is relative): On my last day of skiing (Sunday) I had a really rough morning. My symptoms were out of control and I had to keep coming in after every run to rest. In the past, I have become very frustrated and disheartened, before just throwing in the towel. However, somehow, I found the patience and will to keep trying and by the afternoon, I not only felt better, but had one of the best skiing afternoons of my life thus far- no joke. It was wonderful. It was just a matter of listening to my body and giving it what it needs.
Taken from the Chaiflift- my fingers froze taking this!
View of Cannon Mountain as we drove home.
These are my favorite pair of skis. Men with guns adorn them. Hardcore, yes? These are AMAZING skis- K2 Public Enemies. They're twin tips and wider at the front to allow for all-terrain skiing. Just awesome.
I also want to say how surprised and appreciative I am that my mom and step-dad (the biggest meat eaters I know) are so supportive of my foray into Vegetarianism. I was expecting looks of disgust, potential heart attacks (ironic, I know), and maybe even arguments. What I got, though, was encouragement and really kind words. Thanks, Mama and Frank! I’m currently reading “Eating Animals” by Jonathan Safran Foer on the advice (actually she said I MUST read it ) of my awesome friend Dori. It’s a terrific book and I can’t wait to share it with you.
I haven’t done all that much cooking lately, which is a shame, and I’ll be returning to my usual cooking Thursday. I have a couple of potential recipes in mind… Tonight is my first night of Grad School classes and tomorrow I teach a class, so life is a little hectic this week. However, I did cook up a little something last night- my very first video! Lucky for you, I didn’t include the five minutes I spent just making faces at the camera, which, while hilarious, were probably a little frightening. I’m nervous, so be kind! I never in a million years thought that I would post a video, but here I am- unapologetically me (I’m a huge goofball, as you will see here). Thanks for watching!
I want to close by saying thank you to my friend Kat for the amazing Christmas/Birthday gifts she sent me. Kat is absolutely awesome and you should read her blog if you haven’t. She’s hysterical. And a wonderful friend. So, thanks, Kat!
Not only that, but i’m writing from beautiful Franconia, NH, where I am staying with my family at the vacation house. My grandparents had the house built 30 years ago in Mittersill, a village that is meant to mimic EXACTLY its Swiss counterpart. Back in the day, glamorous movie stars and the wealthy would come to stay, hobnob and ski. It’s pretty amazing. All of the houses are Swiss chalets. Here’s where I am writing from right now:
And when I turned around after taking this picture, here’s what I saw:
But let’s shelve that for a bit.
First of all, allow me apologize for the ridiculously long hiatus since I last actually posted a blog entry. It’s been a really busy couple of weeks, but I promise I have a good excuse and very exciting news. After a year and a half illness that left doctors stumped and me completely disillusioned…just as I started to lose hope, I FINALLY got a diagnosis. I know that I have briefly alluded to this in the past, but now that I know what exactly it is (and I have confirmation that I am anything but crazy) I can share more.
So, what exactly has been going on? When I stand for long periods of time, switch positions suddenly (sitting or kneeling to standing), or exert myself I have to be really careful because my body often does not respond appropriately- often times I will start to black out or else my heart will pound so quickly that it feels like a single continuous beat, rather than individual beats. What this has meant is that not only do I have to be cautious when doing simple things, but the worst part is that I have experienced serious exercise intolerance for a while now, and had to give up running as I faint if I run for more than four minutes or so (on a good day). It has been very difficult for me, as a former runner and athlete (dancing, figure skating, track and field, cross country, skiing, softball, volleyball and crew in college, and running) for most of my 25 years, to deal with what has felt like a rebellion or failure of my body. I have always pushed my body to its limits- whether it was running suicides in volleyball until I nearly threw up, or ice skating with a hurt back or rowing with a shoulder with tendonitis. What my mind has commanded, my body has done. Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a body that has turned on me.
Another disturbing symptom? My fight or flight reaction is on a hair trigger. It can be triggered by ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING and what that translates to is the panicky feeling your body initiates when you are frightened, but without the mental fear. It’s an extremely disconcerting thing. It means that when I am stressed or emotional, my body gives me away because I start to breathe very quickly and my heart pounds and there are even times when I start to tremble.
So…what the heck is it, you ask? After 9 doctors, 7 of which told me I was crazy and just having anxiety attacks (when the only anxiety I felt was related to the fact that no one would believe me and no one could help me!) I FINALLY saw the right doctor- a specialist that I got in to see after 6 months and he figured out that I have what is called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS for short- appropriate for a food blogger, yes?). Basically my autonomic nervous system does not regulate my body properly- my blood pressure drops inappropriately and often, my heart will speed up to try to compensate for it. What’s so difficult is that some days I am completely fine (although vigorous physical activity will almost ALWAYS bring some symptoms- especially running. I absolutely cannot run). The specialist is amazing. It turns out that POTS is very difficult to diagnose and many doctors know very little about it. When I first saw him, I told him flat out that I was afraid he’d think I was crazy, too. He was my last hope. You know what he said? “I promise you’re not crazy. Almost every patient I have has a story almost identical to yours. When doctors don’t know what is afflicting the patient, rather than admit that they don’t know what’s wrong, a lot of time they’ll dismiss it as a mental issue to avoid having to admit their own failure. You’re in the right place- it just took you a while to get here.” And there you have it.
The one thing I want people to take away from all of this? YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST ADVOCATE. Just ask Chanelle (who is amazing, btw. Read her blog if you haven’t already!). It is YOU that lives in and with your own body. YOU who knows it best. I saw some of the most well- respected doctors in the country- my aunt is a doctor and got me the cream of the crop- and even they didn’t know. Do not give up. Educate yourself. Keep meticulous records of your symptoms. Do whatever it takes. Keep your hope alive.
When I first got sick I started to do research- TONS of research, and POTS was one of the first things that I thought it could be. I mentioned it to the very first doctor I saw. She immediately and adamantly dismissed the idea and proceeded to put me on very serious medication that made me so sick I ended up in the hospital. I’m sure she thought that I was telling her how to do her job when I suggested that I seemed to have an alarming number of the symptoms. But as it turns out- I was right. Always trust your instincts (I’m afraid I’ll have to ignore the instinct to smack her upside the head- although I may write her a letter).
I cannot tell you how liberating and wonderful it has been to finally get some sort of validation and of course, to know what exactly is happening in my body. Not only that, but I have a treatment plan that will be adjusted as we go along and the specialist is very respectful of my wish to avoid medication. While I was waiting for the appointment with him, I was put on powerful steroids that caused weight gain to try to stabilize my symptoms- it worked, but at a cost. For the past couple of weeks I have been working on a plan to get my health back, return to my healthy lifestyle and started exercising again so that I can return to my happy weight. It will take a really long time to get back to where I was- it’ll take patience and diligence. But I WILL get back there. I WILL run again. I WILL regain some semblance of control over my body.
I’ll go into more detail as I post throughout the week, but some of the major decisions I have made as of late that I’d like to share:
- I will be going vegetarian. I will be easing into this as a pescatarian, then transitioning to a full vegetarian.
- I have devoted myself to a yoga practice that is slowly helping me reconnect with my body and find a confidence I had forgotten I ever had. I’ll be doing a year-long challenge with my wonderful friend, the lovely Christie. I am so excited for this and will be posting more details soon!
- I am also exploring a number of other exercise programs that I can do on my own, at my own pace so that I can relearn the cues my body sends me and hopefully, as I get better, rewire them.
I am so confident that this will all help me very much in my struggle with body image, as well. Lately, I have felt as though my life is coming together in a way that it hasn’t in a very long time- I have found new understanding of the breakup of my relationship that has led to some measure of peace, I have stood up for myself in a very difficult situation involving the death of my father and distribution of his estate, and I have begun to find my voice. With each difficult hurdle I jump, I get a little more dtermined. A little stronger. A little more unapologetically me. I’ve always pretty much known who I am, but now it feels like i’m finally figuring out what I want and that it’s ok to go for it. And THAT is an amazing feeling.
Today has been a busy day. I was skiing these:
Ok, wait. I lied. Not THESE exact mountains. Cannon Mountain, to be exact. The one that this photo was taken from. But I imagine if I took a photo from the peaks in this picture it’d look pretty similar- you know, aside from the chairlifts and tiny ant people. It’s WONDERFUL to ski again. Today went really well- the conditions were AMAZING, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and I only had to stop and rest for a short while when I started to feel a little bit lightheaded. That, for me, is a HUGE victory. I had some great eats for lunch:
Whole wheat wrap with hummus, muenster cheese and veggies from a stew made by Colorhungry mama
Veggies that got a nice bath in some hummus before I practically inhaled them- actually, I'd already scarfed down a good number of them- hence the lone carrot.
Pretzel flats (gotta love Trader Joe's!) also getting the hummus treatment...
Somehow, the half an apple, handful of nuts and dried fruit and 2 oatmeal butterscotch cookies somehow escaped into my mouth (or failed to escape from my mouth, rather)and didn’t get photos. It all had great staying power and I was full until dinner!
Of course, before dinner, we went straight into the hot tub. I have to say that it’s a little disconcerting to be putting on your bathing suit when it’s 17 degrees out and running outside to jump in wearing NOTHING but your suit! It was absolutely incredible- I could feel my muscles relax, all the knots slowly melt away, and let me just say…there was a very interesting conversation about dream houses with my cousins. My 8-year old cousin is determined to have a house with a ballroom. And a bathroom that has “FIVE DIFFERENT SOAP DISPENSERS!” The view was beautiful, steam was rising out of the water and while my hair kept freezing, my body was in heaven. It was a wonderful way to relax.
Dinner was simple and delicious. We had swordfish, tuna, sweet potatoes, spinach and mushrooms in a little red wine, salad…and blueberry cobbler for dessert! Again, the cobbler somehow escaped a picture! But here’s my plate- and please pardon the flash. Apparently, Swiss chalets have crappy lighting.
And after dinner, the kids informed us that it was family game night and we could choose between Clue and Whosit? Never heard of Whosit? Well, remember how I said that my grandparents built this house about 30 years ago. Actually, it was more like 40 and Whosit? is a game from the 70’s, a relic, if you will, of the last generation to use this place. So, other than the fact that the characters look like the Village people, how can you tell this game is circa 1970ish? First of all, the game is easy. You pick a card with your character on it and then people take turns picking cards that ask you yes or no questions about your character. The game is five and up. Here are some sample questions:
*Do you smoke?
*Are you white?
*Are you black?
*Are you ORIENTAL?
Oy. I really hope no one is offended by that. I voted for Clue. It was excruciating. I’m exhausted. Tomorrow’s another day of skiing and I can’t wait! Today I took it easy- mostly just blue trails (intermediate-ish). Tomorrow I tackle black diamonds. :)
Good night!
As in…I completely beat myself up. I am a KLUTZ. It just has to be capitalized in my case. If there is something to fall over, I will fall over it. If there is nothing to fall over, I will fall over it. I am notorious for tripping, falling, stumbling and general mayhem. I broke so many of my mom’s glasses that she bought plastic cups just for me. I’m not even kidding. And that was last year! Today was a real winner- I walked straight into an open dishwasher, denting my shin, and I also fell in the shower when I dared to step off of the no-slip mat for just a single second. *sigh* Figures. I actually don’t bruise very easily (which is good, as people would probably suspect I was the victim of some horrible accident at any given time), but today i’m sporting two shiny new bruises. Go, me!
Today was one of those Saturdays where, when I wasn’t inflicting damage on myself, I was content to just sit on the couch and not do all that much aside from playing tug-of-war with the dog(she kinda looks deranged when she’s doing this), a little design brainstorming and some light cleaning(those of you who know me can stop laughing now). I also posted a new review: Honeytree Organic Agave Nectar and a new recipe: Brie Mac and Cheese with Caramelized onions. You do NOT want to miss that one!
Just one more day left of vacation, which is pretty sad. I will, however, be looking forward to getting back into a more structured routine and I am really excited to go back to the gym and start really focusing on my yoga practice. That is probably what is exciting me most about this New Year- the conscious decision I have made to really focus on what I want and actually trying to get it rather than just sitting back and waiting for it to happen. I suppose good things do come to those who wait, but in my opinion, they probably also happen to people who take action!
I didn’t really eat anything terribly photogenic today and the salad I had for dinner was disappointing at best. It was missing a certain something- perhaps a little crunch. However, I DID make some peanut butter butterscotch brownies because my step-aunt and her family came over tonight. I discovered these puppies one night when I was too upset to sleep and I started baking. Imagine my surprise when these turned out to be some of the tastiest brownies I have ever eaten. And don’t take my word for it- others have agreed! The best part is that they are so ridiculously simple to make and clean-up is a cinch. I only used one pot, one measuring cup, a whisk, a spatula and a measuring teaspoon!
You can find the recipe for peanut butter butterscotch brownies: here.
I like my brownies gooey, but you can cook them longer if you'd like...These were just right for me!
So, two of my cousins came over- Katelyn and Paige- ages 14 and 12, respectively. They’re a spririted duo. We watched movies and had a good time. I let Paige do my makeup and much to everyone’s surprise, I didn’t come out of the “cosmetology chair” looking like Tammy Faye Bakker, Dolly Parton (at least, not from the neck up), or Marilyn Manson, so i’ll call it a roaring success.
I thought i’d show you an ornament that Katelyn made me…a single one of these things takes about 2 hours to make. She had to wind each spike around a pencil and use a toothpick and glue to secure them. I LOVE it! This will stay out year round with the lanterns I have hanging in my apartment.
Speaking of crafting and design, check out my new design page, where I will be adding some of my current projects and potentially some how-to’s for simple, stylish and easy (I promise!) projects.
We got pretty silly tonight, using Photo Booth on my mac to take all kinds of crazy pictures with different effects of Paige and I while Katelyn laughed hysterically. There may or may not be videos, too…(and good grief, I really hope that the spots on my face below aren’t sun damage or anything. Geeeeez)
How perfectly Warholesque.
Overall, it was a fun night. Tomorrow will be a little bit of a sad day- I’ll be gettting all my stuff together to go back to Boston and my apartment, which reallllllly needs a thorough cleaning. And i’m not just saying that. But- New Year, clean apartment, right? Off to bed I go!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
2010 is here, and I couldn’t be more happy to usher in the New Year and holy moly- new decade! I learned a lot in 2009- about life, love, and most importantly, about myself. While I am glad that symbolically, I can put many of the tribulations of the past year behind me, I find myself wanting to memorialize the things that I must not forget and although I do not really do the Resolutions thing, it IS the New Year.
Things I Resolve to Remember From 2009:
1. I resolve to know how strong I am, how much I can endure and how much I have withstood so that I will no longer be afraid or unable to make the tough choices.
2. I resolve to remember that I do deserve love. Everyone does. Real love. Reciprocal love. Love that inspires growth- that nurtures. I resolve to remember that love is not a perfect fairy tale, but it can be a wonderful reality. And I resolve not to settle for anything less.
3. I resolve that when the time does come (and it will come again…eventually) I will keep my heart open, but that I will remember to give share it only with those who will care for it as the gift that it is, as I would do.
4. I resolve to know that my happiness is my responsibility. That I am the one who makes the choices and lives my life. I can CHOOSE to be happy. I can CHOOSE how I live my life.
5. I resolve to always remember who I am, be secure in it and embrace it. I resolve to stay true to who I am and what I want.
6. The other day I was in a blue mood. My brother said to me, “Cheer up- Life is what you make of it! You’re alive. Be glad you’re alive!” It’s a simple statement, but it’s true. I resolve to remember that I AM ALIVE and that laughter, friends, family and all that good stuff is what makes life worth living.
Now, there are things that I want to do as part of my Baby Steps to Body Love Challenge for the New Year- I’ll be posting those as part of Challenge #7 on Sunday night. I suppose those are actual, tangible resolutions, but it’s the lessons I take with me from the last year that will sustain me in the new one. Anything is possible, right?
I rang in the New Year in a pretty low-key way. My brother (who is a real life Van Wilder- I kid you not) invited me to a party, but I knew that I just needed to stay in this year. So, I rang in the New Year with my mom, stepdad, and step-dad’s sister and her family. We all made homemade Chinese food together and then I watched movies with my cousins until we saw the ball drop. I was really content. For the first time in a while. I think there comes a point where you have to realize that your hope and faith were misguided. That it’s not your fault. That you did everything you possibly could and gave it everything you had, even when you didn’t have to anymore. It’s a HUGE punch in the stomach when it happens (especially when there’s a particular moment or incident that triggers it), but it can also be truly liberating. So last night I drank to the New Year and a new, different kind of hope. And I meant it.
So, what did we eat? There were spareribs, sticky chicken wings, Moo-shi pork with homemade mandu pancakes, egg rolls with broccoli slaw, brown “fried” rice, steamed dumplings, and my contribution: Crab Rangoon! Homemade crab rangoon is absolutely delicious, but I hadn’t made them in a while! I made up my own recipe a while back and I was wracking my brains trying to remember exactly what I had put in them! Turns out, it’s really simple and completely tasty.
Sauteeing the red pepper and garlic
I had to make 48 of these babies- the whole package...BO-RING! And E! channel was NOT showing "Movies That Rock," as I was wrongly led to believe.
There were rows upon row of these things, just waiting to be sealed up! I kept saying to myself, "It takes 1/4 of the time to eat these as it does to make them!" Oh, but it was worth it.
Our feast, as photographed with mom's not so great camera...
I had a little bit of everything, managed to NOT eat like it was 1999 and Y2K was on its way causing uncertainty about the fate of the human race, and really enjoyed the meal. Dessert was a small bowl of peppermint ice cream with fresh whipped cream, devoured as I watch Ryan Reynolds in “The Proposal.” It was the PERFECT combination.
Tonight, my mom and step-dad are making a what promises to be a delicious dinner- I can already smell some pretty good stuff cooking! The dog is sleeping on the chair next to me and I am about to start a major design project. Life, as I am living it in this moment, is pretty damn good.
